The Nagging Emptiness 

Do you ever have a dream where you need to get something that's always just out of reach?  Or have that feeling you're forgetting something but you just can't reach it? Maybe you've had a word or a name on the tip of your tongue.... That's what I feel like. I used to give a... Continue Reading →

The Invisible Illnesses

You can't see what's wrong with me. After some time, you may start to notice my moods shift. You may come to realize that I'm not wired like most people. But you can't see what's wrong with me. He was probably in his forties. His balding head gave him the look of someone older. The... Continue Reading →

The Difference Between Us

Six months ago, I was in my car on the other end of a crisis line. I truly believed that the world was better off without me in it. Without a doubt. Nothing mattered. I couldn't bring myself to do my job. I couldn't parent. I couldn't face who I was or where I was... Continue Reading →

The Same Damned Decisions

I've heard it so many times... It's insane to do things repeatedly and expect to get different results. Yet.... We do. Lately things have felt so out of control. I'm getting better. I know I am. But also feeling impatient for changes that just... Take time. I want it all right now. And while my... Continue Reading →

The Chance Meeting

I can't describe how it felt. At first it was a bit like a kick in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of me without the physical blow. Then it became a dilemma. What was I supposed to do? How was I to proceed? What was the protocol here? After over twenty years of... Continue Reading →

The Only Way To Survive

Since being diagnosed, I've learned a lot. Not just about bipolar, but the brain in general. And about myself as a person. I don't always like the person I see in the mirror. It's ​a work in progress. See.... I'm pretty lazy. I know this. But I also know that healing from this crisis is... Continue Reading →

The Old Days

I used to be... Interesting.  I used to like to try new things. I used to have a great deal to say. Today, I don't feel ignited. I feel tired and emotionally tapped out..

The Parent Appreciation Tea

Um.... When did my kid get so old? It's her last year as an elementary school kid. Which means it's the last month. Which means that there are no more Christmas concerts or sports days for me. Abby was asked to serve at the parent appreciation tea this year and here are some pictures of... Continue Reading →

The Way You Make Me Feel

I have always been fascinated by the idea of seeing yourself through another's eyes. We are our own worst critic, so it's interesting to find out what people think. People are intimidated by me. There's no need to be, I'm a teddy bear. My physical appearance makes people think I'm tough. It actually became a... Continue Reading →

The Recovery

Things are changing. I'm not sure what the catalyst is, if the meds are working or if the spring is springing or if it has more to do with me being held accountable at emotional gunpoint.... But something has really been triggered inside me. On a grand scale, I feel motivated. Not only to write... Continue Reading →

The Emotional Distress

Here's a fun story. Girl takes a class on regulating her emotions. Emotional class share makes girl run away because she can't deal. Right? That was me today. I came home from class and threw myself on the floor. I cried. So much crying. The key is acceptance. See, I've been running from the truth... Continue Reading →

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