The Experience 

Imagine waking up one day, taking inventory and realizing that everything you love had been tossed into the grand Canyon. 

 And lit on fire.

 By you.

Coming down means seeing a lot of  damage that you’ve caused. It means coming to terms with the money wasted  and the mistakes made but worse yet, it means facing the heartache you’ve caused.

Looking in the mirror isn’t easy. At night you’re haunted by poor choices and misguided beliefs.

You can only see the damage you’re causing and you can’t bear to inflict more.

Maybe you should leave. Maybe tonight you pack your things and disappear.  Maybe go to Hong Kong… or Bangladesh. Just fade off into memory and leave no trace by which to be found.

Maybe leaving on a grander scale could be — no. No. Don’t even think it. 

So you pace around the room like a bobcat in the zoo. Can’t stop because idle minds are more dangerous than hands.

Why does it have to be like this? God, you’re so stupid. Nothing is ever going to be any different. You’ll always be the worst. 

The. 

Worst.

…the worst part of coming down is the wreckage left behind. 

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2 thoughts on “The Experience 

Add yours

  1. Your mistakes don’t define you. You are not your mistakes. You are an amazing person. First. You come first… and you are taking care of you! That takes strength. Strong woman, mother, partner, and friend.
    I love that chick you see in the reflection. Please don’t go anywhere!

    Like

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