The Emotional Distress

Here’s a fun story.

Girl takes a class on regulating her emotions. Emotional class share makes girl run away because she can’t deal.

Right? That was me today.

I came home from class and threw myself on the floor. I cried.

So much crying.

The key is acceptance. See, I’ve been running from the truth my whole life because sometimes the truth hurts..

And when it DOES, it really does. And I shut down completely. That’s the coping skill that I’ve learned; default to flight. Get away from the hurt asap.

But that’s not serving me anymore.

Acceptance seems like a pretty straightforward word, right? I understand what it means, but I’ve been at a loss as to how to get there. I know I am impatient but this isn’t a magic button of understanding. It’s work. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure how to even begin.

So I’ve been asking around. The hive mind. Individuals. Anyone who might be able or inclined to help. And then one really smart friend put it this way;

He said that yesterday and all the things that came with it….. It’s over. That doesn’t mean that the impact is gone, but it does mean that those are the things that I can’t change.

Identifying those things is a challenge for me. So, my job right now is to have the wisdom to know what I have power over and what I don’t. And as I gain that knowledge, I’ll begin working on divorcing myself from the weight of worry that comes from living in the past.

There is nothing back there for me.

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